I Got a Lot of Troubles of My Own

I'm digging the new Miranda Lambert song, "Baggage Claim."

My blogging ability has seemed to be very limited as of late. I have a lot of words and phrases in my head, but as I am typing them, they just are not working out. I think a lot of things in my life are not working out as planned, and it is probably creating this little road block between my brain and my mouth (if I am actually speaking) or my fingers if I am typing.

I was reading a book, surprise, surprise, and if you did not already know, I am a very emotional person. I cry, a lot. However, the point is that yes I did want to cry while reading this book because the brother in the book gets in a car accident and his brain is severely damaged. From that point on (he is not a main character, just a side character) he lives a life in a home with only his sister visiting him. He wanders around, and has to have reminders of everything, his short term memory is very limited. As I was reading, I came to the realization that my current career is not what I should be doing. I have too much compassion and empathy for people who need help. I can not imagine going back to school to become a nurse, but sometimes I wonder, am I being drawn to a career in Special Education? Or perhaps something in a similar field? I don't really know. I want to help people, and I know that right now, I do not. I sit at a desk doing mindless work, and honestly, I spend a lot of my day doing absolutely nothing. It is such a waste of my time and my energy. People assume that doing nothing would be so easy, but trust me, the day is excruciatingly slow and you are exhausted. It is almost like my brain is atrophying from lack of stimulation. I can only imagine what it would be like if I did not read. I read books and magazines; blogs and newspaper articles; and anything else with print on it.

I really have been sitting back and trying to decide what exactly I want to be doing with my life. I know that economically it does not make sense to quit my job, but with a student loan and part time work, I think I could make it happen. I am already in debt with my previous student loans, what's a little more if I feel accomplished and happy? I know that I should take the GRE and get my Master's Degree alongside my Teaching Credential, but am I really ready to take those leaps?

Hmm... This is only one portion of the huge thing that is taking up space in my head, aka my brain. There is so much going on and no way of properly expressing it. Thank you blog world, and anyone who might read this, for helping me.

I am a SIXTH MAN

I still remember this moment

In the back of my mind

The time we stood with our shaking hands

The crowds in the stands went wild

We were the KINGS and the queens

And they read off YOUR names

The night you PLAYED like you knew our lives

Would never be the same

You held your head like a hero

On a history book page

It was the end of a decade

But the start of an age

Long live the walls we crashed through

While the ARENA lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders, TODAY you will be remembered

I said remember this feeling

YOU passed the BALL around

Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines

FEARING for right now

We are the KINGS and the queens

You traded your JERSEY for a FROWN

When they gave YOU YOUR trophies

And YOU held them up for YOUR town

And the FANS are outraged

Screaming, this is absurd

'Cause for a moment, a band of GREEDS

WITH BAD HAIR got to rule the world

Long live the walls we crashed through

While the ARENA lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders, WE are not afraid

Long live all the SHAQS that you moved

I had the time of my life fighting LAKERS with you

I was screaming, long live the look on your face

And bring on all the pretenders, TODAY you are remembered

Hold on to, RUNNING around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories break or fall

And I take a moment

Promise YOU this

That WE'LL stand by YOU forever

But if God forbid if fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye

WHEN I have children someday

When they point to the pictures

I WILL tell them YOUR name

Tell them how the crowds went wild

Tell them how MUCH YOU SHINED

Long live the walls YOU crashed through

I had the time of my life with you

Long live the walls we crashed through

While the ARENA lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders, WE are not afraid

Long live all the SHAQS that you moved

I had the time of my life fighting LAKERS with you

I was screaming, long live the look on your face

And bring on all the pretenders, TODAY you are remembered

"Long Live," by Taylor Swift, edited by me.

This is my tribute to the Sacramento Kings. I know that the season may have ended, but they may not be leaving. They might be staying. All I have to say is that, they were a part of my life. I will always be a SACRAMENTO Kings fan. I was there when Robert Horry made that horrifying shot; I was there when Bibby made that fantastic three pointer; I was there for the punches, and falls; I was there for the sadness and the joys; and if they stay, I will be there for always.

the sahara

I have really dry skin and hair. So dry that it cracks and itches. From my feet to the top of my head. The only thing that works on my feet, is Eucerin Plus Intensive Repair. However, nothing works on my hair. It is pretty soft and shiny, but sucks in so much water from my shower, its insane. And it doesn't grow, at all. Or at least, not fast enough. I'd like long hair again. Good night.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

This is such a true and powerful statement. The earnings that we all make are things we get, or things we receive. Yes, we all need them to survive on a daily basis. Without some kind of wage, you would not be able to survive. However, there is so much more to life than money exchanging hands, money entering a bank account, or money being spent. It is more important to make our lives something by giving to others. That does not mean that you have to give all the money you have to someone else. You can give to others by being kind; smile at someone, hold the door open for them, say please and thank you. That is giving to someone. And yes, it could be physically giving and financially giving. Buy yourself a pair of Toms shoes and children in poor countries without shoes will be given a pair of shoes. Yes, you were using your wages to buy yourself something, but you gave something back.

uncharted

I like Sara Bareilles' new song. I should probably buy her new CD.



However, my issue for today, (and can I ever not have an issue?!) is the disqualification from the Brigham Young University basketball team of Brandon Davies. I went to high school with a large amount of Mormons, or those who are Latter Day Saints, I'm not sure what is the proper way to call them, yet, whichever they prefer, hopefully I've mentioned it. I am not uncomfortable by them, I don't think they are "freaks" or "weird" in fact, they have a much higher strength and willpower than most to truly live in this world but not of it. However, I must make remarks on what is all over NCAA Division 1 Men's Basketball.



First, Brandon Davies broke the honor code that all students sign when attending Brigham Young University (from here on out, BYU). It is a list of moral and ethical standards that the students are to live by. I would hesitate to call them rules, because that implies that someone just made them up. They are standards, high standards at that, which these students must abide by. Now, a large number of students attend BYU and it must not be that difficult to abide by these standards if such a large number of people choose to go to school there. At first, that is all the NCAA Div I had heard of about this young man. Then it was said that it was nothing criminal. Then comes the heat, from every corner of the ring, and some inbetween. What could he have done, that wasn't criminal that would mean he is to be kicked off the team? Then I hear of these horrendous comments made by one of my alma mater's students (about another player than said player - a hearsay paraphrase): "Hey go poke his girlfriend because he can't." First of all that is absolutely the most inappropriate thing I have ever heard of. I am without a doubt, embarrassed to be associated with such foul minded and mouthed people. But anyway, back to Brandon Davies.



It is then learned that he had sexual relations with his girlfriend and confessed to it. Now, there are many issues that will eventually arise from this, but first is the thought that this code of honor is too harsh. Yet, I don't think it is true in the least bit. Athletes are representatives of a school. They should not be be treated any different than anyone else. They should feel as though playing sports are a privilege and not a right. I know that sounds crazy, but I have never thought it appropriate to just let athletes pass classes in hopes that they become exceptional and therefore don't need an education. I also think all schools should have a code of conduct for their athletes, as I know the NCAA has, but it should be enforced and respected. BYU is doing their civic duty and moral duty to ALL of their students by reprimanded this athlete for breaking their code of honor. If you were the most unknown student at that school who broke it, the same would be done of them. It is simple logic, if you do the "crime" you must do the "time." I agree it is unfortuntate for the rest of the basketball team yet, maybe he should have spent more times with his teammates and not his girlfriend. Nobody will ever really know.

Now, the fact that I have read rumors of him being kicked out of school, it is extreme, but I suppose it is a possibility. I've been researching Mormonism because I am very interested in it and find their website to be super helpful, easily navigated, and has all the answers an then some on every subject (click here http://www.lds.org ). Anyway, although I am not a Mormon, I do have a tremendous amount of respect for them (minus Polygamy, but that's a whole other blog).