make new friends, but keep the old...

one is silver, and the other's gold. If only life was so simple as this silly and childish song. I know that as an adult, your friendships from the past and the one's you make in the future evolve in a different way than they did when you were a child. Yet, I see people who have friends at my age and they actually spend time with their friends. I wonder now, with the friends that I once had or still have, who knows at this point, why were they my friends? Out of pity? Did they think they couldn't get rid of me? Did they really even like me? And if they did like me or do like me, why has all that changed? Why does nobody seem to care? I have done my fair share of caring and yet I never get anything in return. I do not like to feel jealous, but sometimes I do. I wish I had a friend to go shopping with; girl talk with; or even so Chris and I can have some friends to hang out with, for something to do. I get jealous that everyone seems to have something and I don't. I know I made a choice to move to San Diego the first time, and then to Maryland, and then back to San Diego, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve some kind of friendship. I feel like I am an afterthought for them, and it doesn't feel good. Eew, what an awful case of the Mondays. :/