No Motivation

I have absolutely no motivation for the gym.

I did Level 2 of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred.

I guess that should count for something, right?

We had hotdogs at work today. And I had more watermelon than chips, but somehow, my calorie count is so out of whack. I only keep track of it to make sure I'm not mindlessly eating. I don't actually care what the number is (okay, I lied, I care) but I pay greater attention to hitting all my fruits and veggies and that it is not crazy all over the map in numbers.

I love 4th of July and I am pretty excited to see my parents. The weather is supposed to be AMAZING!

Anyway, I've lost 8 pounds total, and I know I look thinner and I have more muscle definition, but I feel like I can't make it work. Something feels wrong. I feel as though I'm doing it all wrong, even though, I know, I'm doing it all right. Slow and steady wins the race.

Anyway, I'm going to walk to the grocery store to return the tartar sauce that we bought because it is expired.

Yay, tomorrow is Friday!

Run Forrest Run

For those who read this and are seasoned runners, you can laugh at my terrible excuses for runs. I'm new to running, but I do enjoy it, treadmill or on the streets. Treadmill is easier though, my allergies + outdoor runs = migraines. Today I did 3.36 miles (total 30 mins plus 5 mins cool down). Not too impressive BUT impressive for me. Then I died, literally.

I'm working my way up though. And since I lost my gym card and have been coming in without it for months (seriously since like November), I'm seeing if I can get a new one for free. I don't usually lose things, so I think one of the old personal trainers picked it up, pocketed it, and lost it.

Ugh, I feel like dying right now. But, it is slowly subsiding. All for the love of running, right?

EDIT: BURNED and Messy

Yes, my first sunburn of the year. The face is for the sunburn and my messy apartment.

My apartment is messy, again.

Why is it that Chris and I can not keep it clean?

Stuff, EVERYWHERE!

Ugh, I just want to snap my fingers and make it clean.

I'm irritated by this. I'm too tired to do anything about it, though.

Summertime and the Livin's Easy

Summer is my favorite season. I love it, especially here in San Diego, although, none of these photos are from San Diego, but please ignore that and focus on the feeling of summer.

Today actually felt like summer. I went to church, had lunch, Chris and I took a 6 mile walk around the lake, I got a sunburn. Then I went to lay out by the pool and went swimming. It felt glorious. I may or may not get in the pool again, but it felt great none the less.

Summer has the best clouds and the best beautiful blue skies. Especially here in California. It is, by far, the greatest. This is Lake Tahoe for 4th of July. Absolutely beautiful.

I don't really like to swim, but at the same time, it is perfectly summer. This is from childhood, my dad and me. In our pool. I miss that house and being a carefree child.

And how doesn't love sitting on the beach? I love it. Yes, those are my tan legs. Lucky me, although, right now, they are not so tan. This is in Ocean City, Maryland. The cards were not in it for us this year to go, but next year, you'll see us.

And if the beach at the ocean is not your thing, have no fear, the lake beach can be yours. This is Lake Tahoe. It is perfect in the summer. Absolutely fabulous.

I do not like baseball, but it is the summer sport. And if I can watch Nick Markakis play then I am a happy girl.

I LOVE SUMMER!

Sometimes you just need to rant a little...

1. Losing weight, being healthy, and having the motivation for the gym is INSANELY difficult.

I've lost like 7 lbs, which is totally fabulous, except, it stopped. Not an ounce or anymore. Could I be gaining muscle, of course, but I should still be losing body fat. Anyway, food just keeps getting more and more expensive, making buying healthy food even harder. I really don't want to go to the gym, or do any exercise. Lazy has been my middle name.

2. Sometimes when I see in magazines, etc. people who say I was at my heaviest at 140 lbs or something less than that. And you appear to be of average height or are average height. I want to look at you and say, boo freaking hoo, heaven forbid you just lack some tone or what not. Until you've been significantly overweight and know what it is to have people look at you certain ways, or anything, then you can't say that you were so heavy. Yes, I understand, that perhaps a healthier weight is less for you, but, be happy that you don't weight 200 lbs.

3. People irritate me. They drive to slow or too erratic; they stand in the middle of the aisle at the store and don't move to either side, so have to stand there and wait; and people don't mind their own business.

4. I hate living in an apartment that does not allow me having a dog. I really want one of these:

VIA

or

VIA

5. My hair will not grow. It is kind of stuck at this really crappy in between stage. I want my long California girl waves back.

I guess I don't have too many rants, like I thought. Oh well. Happy Sunday.

Sometimes I wish my body didn't hate me...

Yes, that sounds quite harsh, BUT yesterday and today, my body has decided, ice cream would be so much better than running. Oh really body, is that so? You think it is the brain, but no, it is the body. My brain knew what to do and was ready for it, but my body, ha, it laughed at my brain. I guess as long as I don't turn into ice cream and can keep on keepin on, then it won't matter.

Ignore this blog for today. It was lame.

cry, cry, cry

I cry, a lot. It is my preferred way of venting emotion and frustration.

I'm not sad all the time, which some people assume. It just truly makes me feel better.

Anyway, I cried a smidge on Sunday after I heard my grandma died.

I cried a little bit on Monday morning, for like 1 minute.

I knew that my grieving process was not over, but I could not get myself to shed another.

I took yesterday and today off so I could get through it all.

Then, I'm running and I feel the tightness of an asthma attack, and I think: CRAZY! I took my allergy medicine; then I start bawling, on the treadmill. So I left.

Clearly, this is harder than my body had imagined. So, actually as opposed to cream of broccoli soup that Chris will soon be making, I'd rather have Red Velvet Cake frozen yogurt. Or my strawberry ice cream in the freezer.

I'm holding off; I've worked too hard running and exercising, etc.

We Love our Grandma

In Loving Memory of...

Eleanor Gertrude (Valdez) Bensen

aka

Grandma Mo

September 21, 1921 - June 19, 2011

Grandma and I at my college graduation. Don't let the wheelchair fool you, she was feisty.

Grandma and me.

Dani and Grandma clowning around.

Danielle, how sweet and innocent, with Grandma.

The other granddaughters, Sarah and Katie with Grandma.

Katie and Grandma

Katie, Dani, and Grandma.

Grandma and one of her crafts.

Grandma and her roses.

Grandma and Grandpa

A Time Out from Nostalgia of My Road Trip

And I'm going to tell you about my day.

A relatively uneventful sort of day at work.

I did however get the opportunity to clean my desk. Here it is:

Photos, scanner, phone, and part of my computer.

Photos, phone, my keyboard, computer, mouse and two monitors. We all have two monitors, it extends our screen. So for example I can stretch my email to take up both screens if I so choose OR I can pull up the internet on one side and still see the other side.

That's Hannah eating her hand looking at you, by the way. She's the cutest.

More photos, my radio, stapler, notes and calendar. Right now the calendar has a picture of man and woman in the kitchen saying:

"But honey, decision-making is women's work."

Yeah, that calendar is a hoot.

As well as the tear off desk one.

It is titled: "Stupid Things Men Say"

Little things give me joy, little things. I'm glad my desk is clean, now for this weekend: CLEAN APARTMENT!!

If you weren't already aware, lots of Texas is full of nothing...

First, I went to the gym tonight, like usual, and I have to tell you two things that really irritate me:

1. People who meander and mosey from one machine to another (cardio, not weight machines) an watch everyone else break a sweat while they take a Sunday stroll on the treadmill. I'm not talking about older or elderly. I am talking about perfectly capable young people who look around as to, what I'm heavy or I'm out of shape? I'm "walking" or "biking". I highly doubt your heart rate is raising above what mine is at rest. Not to mention, if you are not going to wear proper tennis shoes or footwear, why bother?

2. Jerk guys who think they are better than everyone. Case in point: I'm way on the other side of the room and I look across and I see this guy who had just finished working on an ab device. He then proceeds to walk in front of a mirror (granted NOBODY is near him or looking in his direction, except maybe me as I glanced at the clock) pulls up his shirt and rubs his abs. Yes, they were fantastic. But really? You're pulling it up like you're trying to seduce yourself in the mirror? Really? REALLY???

On to the nostalgia photos, our travel from San Antonio to Lubbock:

The smallest Wal Mart ever! No joke. The aisles are half the size of the ones here. Crackers shared an aisle with soda. So weird, and adorable.

All I really have to show for this is miles and miles and miles...

and miles and miles and miles....

and miles and miles. Oh and on and on and on...

of wind turbines!

Anyway, we have no other pictures because all we did was get a hotel, eat dinner in the bar, and watch TV. We needed relaxation after partying it up in San Antonio.

Tie for Favorite Stop on Road Trip

This is our trip from Dallas to Kerrville and San Antonio. If I told you why we had to go to Kerrville, I'd have to kill you BUT this was day one of true, nothingness, middle of nowhere, driving. We had no cell reception, there was nowhere to stop to go to the bathroom, we were fearful that at any moment the GPS would stop working and we'd be stuck at Farm Road 235 and Ranch Road 57.

It was so deserted, Chris did some sit ups in the middle of the road.

American and Texas pride. Two thumbs up for that farm! Could it have been the farm that had coyote corpses hanging from the fence to scare off other coyotes, maybe?

Oh, and in Texas farmland, people drive their tractors on the road.

This sign was in Fredricksburg. As always, I was in a grumpy mood, but this little town made me happy.

A Fair Oaks village without chickens? Unheard of! Obscene! Okay, where I grew up, Fair Oaks Village is known for chickens. I took this in San Antonio to remind me of my roots.

FINALLY! Riverwalk in San Antonio. I want to go back, or move there, or something. It was very beautiful, and so much fun!

We're so cute.

From Arkansas to Dallas

After Little Rock, Arkansas, we headed to Dallas. Dallas is not a tiny city, and we were hoping for a fun time. However, the only thing that could be done was going to a baseball game. It was fun. I can't tell you who won, I just know that we got tickets in the "All You Can Eat and Drink" section. It is a really good idea, simply for drinks (soda, not beer, ha ha).

This sign shows all that was around the Texas Rangers' stadium in Arlington.

Our seats, not as great as Camden Yards, but not too shabby.

We're so cute, oh and kinda dorky.

Aww, much better.

After the game, we tried to go out downtown. It was a Thursday night in June. I know that in San Diego (and many other cities across the United States) Thursdays are quiet, but happening. I can not believe I just used the word happening. Anyway, it was not. There were two bars open in all of downtown Dallas. Needless to say, we went to bed early. So that we could head on to Kerrville and San Antonio.

Graceland, Almost a Tornado, and Arkansas

After spending the night in Nashville, we headed out to Memphis to go to Graceland. I apologize that these photos are backwards. So after Graceland we headed onto Arkansas. We had pizza in a deserted Pizza Hut amongst a huge storm that could have produced tornadoes.

Welcome to Arkansas. Yes the state line is on a bridge.

Chris at the Visitor Center.

Me at the Visitor Center.

Some random place in Arkansas. I thought it was pretty.

Elvis's Pink Cadillac.

The lights were constantly flickering and I caught it when they were all lit up.

Elvis's grave at Graceland.

I left my camera in the car (it fell out of my purse) and did not realize until we were already on the tour. I took them on my cell phone though, I've just struggled to get them from cell phone to computer. Enjoy.

Oh and in Arkansas we went swimming.